Two Words

There are really only two words
I ever wanted to hear from you
But you'll never have the balls to say them.

I gave you over twenty years
To say those words with sincerity
But yours words only hurt me.

Well I'm done seeking you out
In hopes of hearing those words.
If you want me you know where to find me.

But you better be prepared
To utter those two little words.
I'm sorry is all I want to hear.

Lost & Alone

I feel so lost and alone
in this world called my life
I'm at a crossroad
And I have to decide

The choice I make is always wrong
And others a quick to criticize
Yet when it is decision time
They are no where to be found

My friends are leaving one by one
Never to be seen again
This time next year only
One will come back

And soon she will
Be gone as well
All she needs
Is that job


Their lives go on
While I'm stuck in place
Because of a decision
I can't seem to make.

Search

I keep searching for answers
To the questions in my mind
But can never seem to get anywhere.

Instead of the answers that I seek
I find more questions
No answers are in sight.

Who am I
Who do I want to be
Who am I going to be?

What is the next step
Will I take the next step
Or will I cower in fear?

What will happen next
What does the future hold
Am I brave enough to find out?

John

I feel so lost at times
Make that most of the time
I can feel your eyes on me
I can see the expectation there
Then later on they change
And disappointment is all I see
I wonder what did I do wrong?

What mistake did I make
Was it a slip of the tongue
That put that look there
Or did I forget an event
That I never really knew about
Or did I not complete a job
that I was never given instructions for?

War

I'm sick of this
this never ending war
with its constant battles
I win some
But lose most
So why do I even fight?

Sometimes I don't even
Realize there's a battle
Until it is already over.
Sometimes I know
they're coming and
those are the few I win.

I want to just give up
Yet I'll never win if I do.
So I'm off to fight
One more time
This battle in my mind.

Letting Go

It is time to let go
To let the healing begin.
The fear is too much
The load to heavy.

It is time to put the load down
And not pick it back up.
To stop placing the blame
And punishing myself.

One more thing to do
Then I'll finally be done.
I'll share the whole story
With those who helped me
through it all.

No Words

I don't have the words to say
To share with you
How you make me feel.

I thought you were brave and awesome
When you admitted your problem.
And then tonight you break my heart.

You say you wish you never told.
There's too much hassle and stress involved.
I want to just wring your neck.

I said I didn't know the words
So I used the ones I did.
Hoping to get my point across.

~Nina